Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Kids Say the Darndest Things

In society, we are all taught to live by certain rules. As children, we are taught by our parents what's appropriate and what's inappropriate, including things we should say and things we should not say. As parents, we do our best to pass those same lessons down to our own children.

But then come along things like the X-Box. And the next thing you know, you’re hearing your kids say things you never imagined would come out of their mouths.

Things like:

“I shot him three times and he’s still alive!”

“Shoot him in the head!”

“More zombies! Get the machine gun!”

“Cool...a missile launcher!”

“I’m going to use the sniper rifle. What kind of gun are you going to use?”

“I’m shot! Get over here, quick!”

“Wow! You killed 42 of them! Sweet!”

“Make sure you get lots of grenades...we have to blow up the water tower.”

“You’ve got to be frickin’ kidding me! I totally killed that guy!”

“Crap...I’m dead.”

Yes, this has become the normal banter in my house. But no matter how terrible it may sound at times, I find comfort by reminding myself of three important things:

1. Given the right weapons, my boys can take down an enemy tank any day.

2. If zombies ever attack our home, my boys will know how to kill them.

3. The boys are having fun and spending quality time together...that is until I hear one of them yell, “Mom!”

It’s usually then that I have to intervene and lay down the law. I do so by simply saying:

“Stop killing your brother or else you’re done playing!”



Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

God this sounds like my house! Boys :)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Haha! Sounds like my house too :)

ethelmaepotter! said...

Hilarious! I'm saving this post to my favorites!

It was Zelda at my house, many moons ago, and I got hooked on it, too. Before I knew it, I was saying things like that! "Kill it! Kill it! Shoot that one! Watch behind your back!"

Those were the days...

I don't think I'd know how to deal with Zombies, though. If I ever find myself in trouble with them, I may have to call on your boys.

BNM said...

lmao sadly enough that sounds like my hubby & his friend playing the Xbox at our house.. men never really grow up do they? Hahahaha

MaryRC said...

Brilliant post. You made me gufaw at an innapropriate moment. Genius.

Bettie K. said...

This is a fantastic blog---I read quite a few of your posts and of course your ode to a turd was one of my favorites.

I promise to return!

Lora said...


love it :)
i have a feeling i'm peering into my future. my boyfriend loves his xbox, playstation, etc...and he'll convert any children we have to this love! :)

Moooooog35 said...

My favorite was watching my then 5-year old boy playing XBox with one of his friends when he stopped and said:

"Man. We SUCK."

So proud.

So. Proud.

The K Family said...

LOL! Sounds like the dialogue going on in my house. Love your blog. I'm also one of your newest followers! :)

Anonymous said...

You're preaching to the choir..I'll never forget the first time my little man stole his first car on grand theft auto....I was crazy is that?

Maggie said...

My kids haven't gotten past Mario Kart yet, but I hear a lot of that stuff coming out of my husband's mouth. Sad, but true.

Dual Mom said...

You're such a good mom!!!!

My boys xbox has been broken now for almost 2 weeks. I expect one of them to eat the other one any day now.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Well, if they ever get into World of Warcraft, I can imagine those conversations. You would make a great Rogue Night Elf. What happens when the big guy plays with the boys? I bet that's pretty funny to listen to.

Er. said...

Ha ha! I do it. I do it. I do it, too! :P


"Don't touch the remote. I am about to kick their ass."

"How do make these game characters so sexy?" :p

"I don't fucking care just shoot everybody!"


But, it's fun trust me. Full dose of entertainment. ;-)

Unknown said...

Yeah, gotta love those games. My husband is a WOWer. He tells me about all the characters he made and about all his pets and I think-do you even notice the garbage needs to go out or that I'm standing here naked beside you?

Ah games. I hate them.

Frugal Vicki said...

Okay, this is hilarious! I still have to giggle when I find myself saying things like "please don't lick your sister, please don't body slam your sister" cracks me up.

Sabreena said...

Oh the outside world, full of good influence and promise. I like that your kids are ready for an impending zombie attack. That is a serious situation rarely taught at school. I too would just be happy if my boys would play together and bond because at this point I feel like a glorified referee.

Unknown said...

I clicked on the link here from Ethel's blog, because, yes, I liked the name. I vaguely remember playing Diablo and slashing and bashing at demons and the like. I'm a little disappointed I didn't have automatic weapons at my disposal, now!

Imaginative Me said...

ROFL! Yes, at least you'll be safe under zombie attacks! My kids are too young to play those games yet, but it doesn't stop them from repeating what they hear while Daddy is playing!!

Kelly and Sara said...

So funny. Love your blog!

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Anonymous said...

Your blogs are so witty! I just love 'em.. Leah here. I'm new at Blogger and you're the first one i've followed. Thank you so much! :)