Friday, April 2, 2010

Back From Hell

I know, I know. I said I was going to get with the program and post more often. But, hey, I told you I had to go to the DMV, didn't I?

I wish I had taken my camera with me to the DMV, because there were two things there that played right into my whole "trip to hell" theme. First was the sign right outside the door that read "No smoking within 20 feet of this facility." (See...wouldn't that have made for a great picture?!)

The second was a man (at least I think it was) that looked just like the devil himself. He had long black dreadlocks down to his waist and an even longer gotee that was divided into two braids. He was dressed in red, tattered shorts and a black T-shirt with a red imprint of Jimmy Hendrix on the front. Oh, and he had those circle, John-Lennon-looking glasses on.

What? That's not how you picture the devil?

During my two-hour visit to hell, I had a lot of time to think. One epiphany I had (and loyally shared with Happy Hour Somewhere first) was that people who work at the DMV have got to be the smartest people on the planet. I mean, think about it--they never have to wait around at the DMV to renew their license or registration. (Brilliant, I tell ya!)

Luckily, I did not have to take any tests to renew my license. I thought I was going to have to at least take an eye test, considering it had been at least ten years since my last one, but the lady said there was no need. So if you see a lady in a gold Jeep running stop signs and red lights, with a trail of roadkill behind her, it's probably me (sorry, little squirrel).

It actually feels good to have a legitimate license again (even if my new picture looks like I was eye-fondled by dirty old men for two hours--a little more to the left, please...oh, yes, right there). I can speed again and everything without having to worry about getting a ticket for driving with an expired license!

It also feels good to post again. Where else am I going to share my sightings of the devil and DMV epiphanies?

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15 comments:

Brittney said...

LMao!!! My trips to the dmv are never that eventful just a bunch of old farts taking their dear sweet time

Dual Mom said...

Whew...I was about to send out the National Guard woman!!!!

I once drove for 8 months with a "suspended" license. How did I find out it was suspended? Why I got stopped by a mountie (RCMP)for speeding and after running my license he was kind enough to tell me!!

Frugal Vicki said...

Yeah, they may not have to stand in line...but I don't think those people get any EVER! How can you be that cranky. And don't give me the customer service excuse, I am there and still sarcastically/fake pleasant.

ethelmaepotter! said...

Well, at least it was only two hours - I have spent almost all day there before!
Where I work, we have the same no smoking sign posted on the door...and right next to it is an ashtray!

My Mercurial Nature said...

No, they don't have to wait in line...but they're probably covered in cooties. I feel itchy just thinking about going into the DMV...

*LLUVIA* said...

LOL
Not too long ago I posted about my own trip to hell!! LOL!

The bitch behind the screen called me fat! If can believe that!

(not that I'm not fat, but stilll...ya know?).

Shamrocks and Shenanigans said...

I'm your newest follower!
http://shamrockandshenanigans.blogspot.com/

~J said...

It does make sense that you would see the devil in hell! LOL

Your license pic must beat mine..I'd rather look fondled than like I weigh 39023943849023 lbs. Why do they insist on zooming in that close on your face anyway?

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

Funny!!!! New follower here!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Okay, J's comment was hilarious~! Maybe we should picture the DMV like the scene in Beetlejuice when they are waiting to see their death counselor. Shrunken heads and strange people everywhere. Your picture looked great by the way. I look like they plumped me up like a chicken...saline in all the wrong places. It sucks.

Don't you wish you had taken the devil's picture? I wonder if he would show up? I guess he must, he was at the DMV.

Kat said...

too funny! I wish you had captured the image of the devil for your blog. That would be great! I have an award for you on my blog. Come and get it!

Daffy said...

I just did the DMV this week too! My license expired last Saturday and I finally got the new one yesterday.

Yeah...I was a fellon for awhile. But I like living on the edge like that *wink*

For the first time since I started driving, my DMV experience was actually a pleasant one. The guy didn't even ask me if my weight changed or anything. He just kept it all the same...what a doll.

The Blue Zoo said...

That is almost exactly like I picture the devil.... Except it should be a woman. Probably wearing a dress... Ok, so maybe it isnt close to exactly at all. =)

Katherine ( Katie) Corrigan said...

Giggle, glad you made it home alive, and you're legal again. looking forward to your next post. Katherine

Imaginative Me said...

Funny stuff!! Move to a small town! The DMV where I live takes 5 minutes!
So did you get the Devil's autograph?