Wednesday, June 24, 2009

My First Political Blog

For those of you who have been following my blog, I am sure you have learned by now that I don’t deal with political issues. But when I learned about how the federal government is spending over $400,000 to find out why men don’t like to wear condoms, I just had to put in my two cents worth.

When I first heard about this, the image that came to mind was Homer Simpson smacking himself on the head and saying, “DOH!” Not only is the government going to spend over $400,000 on the study, it is going to be a “two-year” study. Two years? I can answer that question myself in less than two minutes.

Hmmm, let’s see…why don’t men like to wear condoms? Oh! Oh! I know! I know! Well, there are a few reasons. I think the most obvious is because condoms reduce a man’s sensation. For men, wearing a condom would be like a mother holding her baby while wearing latex gloves. Yes, you can still feel the baby in your hands, you can even feel the warmth of its skin if you hold it long enough, but the sensation of what you feel is nowhere near what you feel without the gloves.

Another reason men don’t like to wear condoms is because of the awkwardness of having to stop and put one on. And then there’s the task of actually getting the condom on the right way so that it stays on. Yes, they do pop off from time to time. Someone reading this may even be the product of a condom that popped off many years ago.

The fact that I don't have a penis but I still know the answer to why men don’t like to wear condoms just goes to show what a no-brainer the question really is. It’s like asking, “Do bears shit in the woods?”

I have a question the government can spend money on to find the answer to—why do we spend so much time and money on finding ways to improve a man's sex life? Are we trying to prove that men really do go blind after blowing a certain number of wads? Maybe the government should take a different approach and use the money to find a way to get men to keep it in their pants more often than they do. I can think of a few government officials that would make perfect candidates for the study.

6 comments:

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Should have called this one the peckerwood post. $400,000~! Jumping jelly beans, Batman. Can people in govmint really be that bone headed? Maybe their parents should have left the condom on when it came time to conceive these nimrods.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Actually, my main reason is I hate it when my shaft gets all sweaty.

bigtumtums said...

Hahaha!! Nice post!

Let's try giving them a clue... with $4, let's send a banana and tell then to eat em un-peeled. Since it's not the first time the fruit is used with that rubber anyway... un-peeled too. Hehehe. :)

Red Writer said...

Here here! Bravo! I wonder how many men in the study will claim to be "too big" to wear condoms. Honestly, how many times have we heard that one pathetic excuse. If I had been in my right mind at the time of hearing this, I would have looked down and laughing, would have pointed and said "yeah right!"

I had a sexual psychology professor walk into the classroom and without saying a word proceeded to unrap a condom and pull it all the way over his head. As he stood there he said "don't let any guy tell you he's too big for a condom!

Anonymous said...

Brim over I to but I dream the post should have more info then it has.

L said...

Dear Anonymous (or should I address you as Yoda?):

Since you have deemed yourself a critic, I dream you should learn the difference between the words "to" and "too."